I have started this post so many times I don’t even know what I am writing about anymore. Each time I have followed a different train of thought and ultimately abandoned the idea because I could not articulate what I am feeling or want to say. I stopped writing a rant piece where I complain about ignorant comments made to new and expecting mothers. I deleted lines and lines of a “Happy life update”. I have thought about writing a post where I walk through what we did differently so far for this baby than what we did for our first, then scrapped that paragraph.I thought about putting together a list of “Must Haves” for baby and the hospital, but got half way into that and decided to pass.
Now I am here. A place I figured I would eventually end up, but not for another few years. I don’t want to be a social media mom. I don’t want to be a mommy blogger. I don’t want to follow a schedule, or grow an IG account to the thousands. I don’t want the added pressure of keeping up with yet another account, or inbox.
I help manage social media channels on multiple platforms for work, and trying to keep up with a personal account and a blog account on top of that is just so damn draining. I have stepped back, obviously because I don’t post like ever anymore. But I am done with this. I don’t ever want to spend time writing, or posting, or following up on comments, or direct messages. Social media is freaken exhausting.
I want to grow to be the best mom I can be for my kids. I want to be in the moment as much as possible and not worry about getting the best photo for a post that is coming up, or one that will grow my account. I started this a little over a year ago because I had a lot of extra time on my hands and I always wanted to write and be an authentic encouragement to someone else who might be able to relate to me and what I was going through.
I wanted to share my journey to motherhood with others who have gone through loss. I wanted to share my story and let others know how NOT alone they are when you feel like you are the only living soul on the planet. I wanted to share my experiences and ideas on parenting a toddler with my background in Early Childhood Education. I wanted to be a real life example that we all have no idea what we are doing and not even the picture perfect mom at drop off has her shit together. We are all losing our damn minds while we try to navigate life with tiny humans. No amount of education, parenting classes, or advice will prepare you for doing life day in and day out with your kids.
Whether or not the people parenting around you choose to let you see into the messy part of their parenting life is up to them. Just don’t be fooled by the facade that can so easily distract you from your confidence in doing the best job you possibly can for your children.
….Oh yeah, Now I am here.
Tired, Cranky, Pregnant, Hot as a mother, Waiting for the arrival of our little one, and wanting the world to be a better place to raise our kids and everyone to just be nicer to each other.
I am backing away from social media, and focusing on me, my marriage, my mental health, and my little humans.