If you woke up every single day with a small cheerleading squad at the foot of your bed encouraging you to be the best version of yourself that day what do you think they would say to you?
What if that cheerleading squad was filled with the past versions of yourself?
Watching you accomplish things you didn’t think you would ever get to accomplish, yet here you are getting up, setting that messy bun tight for the day and pouring that coffee HOT to punch today in the face!
The past versions of yourself don’t understand how you are accomplishing everything you are accomplishing on the daily. Because way back then, the life you have now was only one that you dreamt of. I mean look at you! You are accomplishing a full time career that you love, while surviving a pandemic, parenting a toddler, doing everything in your power to carry your unborn child to term, managing a HOUSE, taking control of your mental health, removing toxic people from your life. Look at you growing into the confident adult you never thought you would be. Look at what you are doing every day, hot stuff! You are crushing this!
What if that group of cheerleaders was nothing but other working moms who feel your struggles and daily stresses on a cellular level?
They understand that every single choice you make feels like you are making the wrong choices. They understand that there are days that getting out the door within an hour of your original goal, your kid only ate two cheese cubes for the day, getting through your work day and making it to bedtime without any catastrophes is literally… All. You. Had. In. You.
You didn’t respond to those 4 messages from friends. You didn’t run the three errands you planned on running during your lunch break. You still need to pick up a gallon of milk. Laundry is forever living in that hamper at the end of your bed. Your toddler 100% went to bed with crusty cheese cube on her cheeks. And you collapse after giving your husband WAY LESS attention than he deserved. But today you gave everything you had. Today you got up and took control of your mindset, your attitude and your goals. No you didn’t get through that list above the same way you would if you had a full time nanny, a personal assistant and 48 hours in your day, but you did today the best you could, and that is something worth celebrating!
What if your cheerleader was your future self looking back on your life longing for these days with your tiny humans being tiny?
She is standing there watching you slowly roll out of bed after you had a restless night because the baby moved all night. Ugh, to feel him wiggle around on the inside again. She is watching you set up the house as best you can to set your husband’s day up for success while working from home with your 2.5 year old daughter. Pulling the little clothes from the closet, getting milk cups ready, and setting up toys for her to entertain herself while he has calls. She is watching you hustle for the life you built that down the road get to look back and smile on. Way to go mama! All of it was worth it, and you didn’t screw up even half of what you thought you did!
What if your cheerleading squad was your kids?
What if they were standing at the end of your bed celebrating you for being their mom! Telling you all of the affirmations you need to hear, to change your mindset, to not only better yourself for the day, but to have that ripple effect down to them, as you encourage them to have their best day possible? It would be nice to have your little ones give you some sign that you are not screwing up at every turn wouldn’t it? Though they cannot tell you, they love and appreciate everything that you do for them mom! You are their biggest comforter. You are their safe place. You make them feel special. Your attention means the world to them. Even if they cannot say it.
I think it is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyday needs to be perfectly planned, scheduled, filled with activities, adventures, checked off “To-Do’s”, or whatever else you are measuring your success by. It is exhausting!
What if instead we give ourselves more grace and less criticism?
What if we let go of perfect expectations with not only us but our kids, and just let the day unfold and roll with it?
What if we acknowledge that the lifestyle of busier than busy is not okay and we need to start saying no to people, invitations, responsibilities, and situations that fill our calendars and steal our joy and peace of mind?
What if we stop comparing ourselves to other moms, how they are parenting, how they are dressed, how they discipline, how much screen time, how they fed their babies, how they showed up to church on Sunday, how their kids are publically behaving, how they do life only to feel bad that we don’t compare, or to boast that we are better?
What if we focus on the life we are building for ourselves and our family, and stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking or doing?
I don’t know about you, but that sounds amazing to me.
Just me and my little family, doing our thing, focusing on us and what works best for us.
Does this mean you should stop pouring into the lives of those around you? Of course not. But you truly cannot pour into someone else’s life regardless if that is your husband, your children or your friends if you are not first taking care of yourself mama. Give yourself some grace.
If your mental health is affecting how you are doing life on the day to day, take the time you need to heal, mend, destress, unwind, breathe, and re-focus. Take a nap. Read that book you wanted to read. (Even if it’s from under the stairs with a flashlight) Take a long bubble bath with a glass of wine. Schedule AND GO get yourself a massage. Go shopping for YOU, not your house or grocery needs. If your mental health is affecting your physical health. Ask for help. Take the steps you need to get better. The world can wait. Take care of you first, so you can take care of your family and then others.
Be your own cheerleader today, so you can be someone else’s cheerleader tomorrow.
If you need some starting points for cheers, @itsmaryfran from tiktok, (yes I said tiktok, come at me) said this…
You are awe-inspiringly strong, like I cannot believe the things that you accomplish. It inspires me.
You are one of a kind and that is the most beautiful thing about you because there isn’t another person on this planet who can do what you do.
You are 100% capable of going after your dreams and you deserve to have those dreams come true.
You are without a doubt, there’s not a doubt in my mind, not a single one, meant to be where you are right now. May not feel that way now, but you are.
You are strong. Strong. Strong.
Never forget who you are!